When you’re looking for Mr. Right and are ready to quit wading in the dating pool and settle down with someone who shares your long-term goals and your values- some of the best wisdom is not to look at all- to just be yourself and your ideal partner will eventually show up. But if the notion of ‘eventually’ doesn’t blow your skirt up, then you are going to need to optimize your chances and come up with a plan. Here are 6 important ways you can improve your odds of having a chance encounter with the man of your dreams.
1. Have a Preconceived Idea
You hear a lot of advice slingers saying that you shouldn’t have preconceived ideas about things. But might that not leave you rather rudderless on the seas of love? What you want to do is sit down with yourself for an evening and ask yourself what you really want in a man. Think carefully, fully imagine each quality you want, think it through, and create as complete and realistic an idea of the sort of guy you think you could fall in love with.
2. Break Your Own Bubble
If you’re not meeting the kind of men you want to meet doing whatever you’re doing now then it’s probably high time to mix things up a bit. Trying new things can be a great way you get out of your own head and mix things up. Taking a class and learning something new can be a great way to meet new people. Getting into something unfamiliar, starting from scratch, and asking for help can be a fantastic strategy for putting yourself into the right hands if you’re lucky. If you’re not lucky, try something else. Basically, just get out as much as you can and have fun. Remember, having fun makes you a fun person, and there’s nothing more attractive than someone who is fun to be around.
3. Seek Him Out in His Natural Habitat
If you’re looking for an arty intellectual, spending time at the honky tonk bar might be a misstep. Yes, we are stereotyping, get over it- your ovaries are calling. Go hang out at your favorite dusty bookstore, or go back to college. If you’re looking for a woodsy sportsman, try hiking trails, or the gymnasium. These are callow examples, but you take my meaning. Don’t go looking for love in all the wrong places.
4. Make New friends
One of the most common ways people meet new people is by being introduced to them. If you already know everyone your current circle of friends knows, see about making new friends. Making new friends is a lot like meeting new men, you’ve got to get into new environments. All you have to do to boost your friend factor is talk to more people. Meeting new people to be chummy with can be a bit like playing the lottery, you never know what’s going to be just under the surface, but if you don’t play- you can’t win.
5. Resist the Feeling of Failure
Even lionesses miss their prey 8 times out of 10. Don’t give in to exasperation or despair when your plans don’t come out the way you like. Keep it in mind that you cannot build a precise plan that will land you in the arms of a dream boat in week’s time- or according to any time frame at all. Remember, you’re not building a better mousetrap, you are optimizing your chance of meeting the guy of your dreams. Chance is always going to be a part of the equation.
6. Up with the Positive / Down With the Negative
Okay, we don’t want you to become one of those annoying people who are cheerful even when it’s raining frogs, but if you’re a complainer- quit it. People who do a lot of complaining attract people who are insensitive to displeasure. Why? Because unhappiness rubs off usually, and it drives people away- because they don’t want to be unhappy too. The people who will stick around an unhappy person lack the empathy to share the unhappiness. To cut a long explanation short- being negative attracts negative people. So quit it! Focus on things you like, things you appreciate and use your time and energy seeking those things out. If you can get into the habit of living like that, you’ll start attracting beautiful people of all kinds like gangbusters!
Olivia is a relationship counselor and clinical dietician. She has been blogging about love and relationships for seven plus years and is in the process of writing a book on the topic.